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        l love you today                                 today

          l love you tomorrow            tomorrow

     Put it all together =

          ♥ l love you forever   forever


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Melvin Tang
sixteen june ; seventeen
bishan ite
When the story of mine begins with you, Miss Z.Xueting♥
♥I don't have to be your first love,
But i do want to be your last .♥
way beyond

♥I am who I am because of you.
♥You are every reason,
♥Every hope, and every dream i've ever had,
♥And no matter what happens to us in the future,
♥Everyday we're together is the greatest day in my life.
♥I'll always be yours.
♥I love you.

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♥ Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Was quite a day today.
Read the book "Heaven Is So Real!"
Haven't finish it though.
Can't reallye read it during afternoon..
Having lots of flashbacks.
Just trying to avoid.
Can't reallye find the courage to face it at this point of time.

If I've not liked someone that deep,
I won't have that kind of negative feelings at all.
You can't just say that the trust is not enough.
Its the same like you.
If i didn't like someone,
Whoever she go out with , i won't care.
Whatever she do, i won't care.
Whenever she smses me, i reply when i feel like doing so.
Sometime will be wrong is i don't get those kind of negative feelings.

I thought it over..
If i once never place enough trust,
Whenever you sms someone, i'll ask you. Who you sms just now?
Whatever you do, i'll expect you to tell me in details.
Whoever you go out with, i'll ask who you go out with.

If i ever never placed enough belief,
Then it will happen long ago.
I know things beforehand already.
Same class, same school etc etc.
Why must wait till that day then will suddenly get that kind of feelings?


I found out that its not i am falling.
I am somehow angry.
Angry bout why in the world would that cause back that gap?
I certainly hated that damn gap.
I believe that gap was once caused by this damn thing called trust too uh?
I reallye don't want to talk bout the past anymore.
So from today onwards,
It'll be gone.
I know it won't be immediately.
But it'll be definately gone slowly.
I'll give you my words for that.
Regarding the gap,
To me, there's no gap now. But mis-understanding.

I don't need you to change anything.
In fact, you don't have to.
Didn't you realise this r/s is much more sweeter then the past?
Seriously.. I reallye enjoyed it alot.
Whenever you sent a sms,
I was so eager to read it.
So eager to see your sweettalks,
So eager to see the 8 letters you'll say to me frequently,
So eager to tell you to rest earlye. Take care of health
and so on.

Whenever you wanted to meet up,
I was so happy.
Standing retarded-ly infront of my wardrobe choosing which outfit should i wear.
After bathing will stand in front of the mirror if i looks good enough.
Go out earlye in case i'll be late and so on.

Whenever you tell me something happened in school and so on,
I will be so worried,
Worried till the point of time that i could fly down immediately to see you.
Worried that you'll be thinking bout lots of stuffs all day.
Worried that things might happen to you.

Seriously,
Darling. I can be retarded or stupid for you.
And it'll be just YOU. I swear that there's no or there'll be no 2nd girl that i'll do this for.

There are people who asked me before.
Why will i like back my ex?
How in the world i know?
The feeling just came back like the wind.
Comes whenever it wanted.
And once it comes,
It'll be hard to go.

If you ever think that me loving you will make me stressed,
you're wrong. I am not stressed in loving you at all.
I am only stressed when there are obsticles.
But you tell me. In life, where can you find friendship/relationship
without obsticles?
There will be obsticles.
But i know it very well myself.
I don't have the courage to face it.
I don't know what to say. Afraid to put it in words that'll hurt you.
Guess these words will hurt you lots too.
Its not i don't care anymore.
When i know it'll hurt you and i still going to post it,
You think my heart not pain?
Its like needles pricking it.
But somehow i still have to explain.

If you think because of this incident will make my love for you stop suddenly,
you're wrong too.
If you think that i gave up. Its wrong too.
I admit. I did think of giving up. Somehow, i am sick and tired of it.
But if "someone" sitting among the clouds is giving me challenges,
you think i'll just sit down and laugh and say. "Haha, challenge uh? I don't want to do anything bout it. I give up"

Somehow.. I reallye wanted to Slap myself.
Damn it. I always help people during relationship problems.
When it comes to my own, i became a tortise. Hid my head inside the shell hoping someone will
come knocking my shell and advice me what to do.
At least.. Advice me in the way i expected.
But end of the day, Who come?
No one.
I guess i'll have to stop sticking my nose into other people's business.
Settle my own first.

Today is 20/08/2008
20th brings lots of memories back for me.
Basically, sweet ones.
You remember how much fun we had the last time?
We spent the 1st month at vivo.
I reallye missed that kind of feelings.
There are basically no worries bout anything.
Studies or Friends.
The mindset was just having fun and enjoy the time we had tgt.
The last time we met before we broke up is at my school's church.
It was so sweet too. The songs, The glowing lights and so on.

After we broke up and we met up the first time during my birthday.
You bought me a cake SO big that was so unbelievable.
At least... For 2 to eat.
Had so much fun on that day too.
Can't finish the cake and gave it to the SBS uncles and so on.
The last time we met till now is outside your school.
Went to GCW to accompany you to study.
Talked bout the olympians, jonathan something, the little girl and the prata on the ceiling.
Then went to the shop n save to buy bread.
The way you hugged me from behind,
I just possibly forget the feeling..
The warmth in it.

Everytime we went out,
Its kept within my heart.
So you think for me to give up is easy uh?
In fact. Do you think i'll give up although i think so?
While having flashbacks now..
I reallye wanted to cry.
I just missed the fun, enjoyment and feelings we had back then.
Whenever i met you,
I'll forget bout the stuffs i had in my heart.
Even if i am not feeling very happy, You somehow will manage to change my emotions.
When i met you, the first thing i always had been waiting to see was your smiles.
Whenever you leaves, I will be thinking. Did you had fun today?
How to make next time better.

I just can't give up on this relationship.
Even if i can, i can't forget. So whats the point on giving up?
I wanted things to be back like we had before.
Not having things we had before, with a gap over there.
I wanted you to know how much i love you.
Thats the reason why i'll say and do all this.
I know.. I am too harsh on the last sms i sent.
I've been waiting for you to reply every now and then.
Looking at my phone every 10 mins hoping a sms back from you.
Even till now.
I am wondering if you'll sms me when you wakes up like the usuals.
Since you didn't sms me when you went to sleep last night?
When you sms me. What should i reply?
I am afraid to hurt you once again.
Lots of things have been happening this few days.
But can i be self-fish to ask you to bear with it ?
Reallye want to settle this problem real soon.
But well..
Melvin still loves you ya?
We are both trying to save it. But somehow whenever we talked bout it in sms, it'll just crash.
Sorrye darling.. for making you cry in public yesterday.
But i hope you'll try to understand how i feel also..
Going off to sleep now.. Didn't sleep whole night cause i can't get to sleep..
Won't be sms-ing you. Its 5.19am now. got to go school later. don't wanna disturb you.
Melvin will be waiting for your morning sms as usual.
No worries bout that.

Nights darling. Alot have been happening this few days. But we'll pull through derh ya?
I'll trust you lerhs. And i trust and belief whole heartedly we'll pull through this. :D
I love you sweetie. <3>





signing off @3:52 AM